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What this guy needs is support and understanding Maybe you didn't intend it this way, but it sounds like you're assuming I'm not already giving him the benefit of the doubt, space, support, and understanding. I am giving him all of those things.
Is there hope for us. One thing that has helped my husband and I was a marriage class we joke that it was more like marriage therapy when we had only been married two years.
I feel sorry for you, not because your husbands are working so hard but because you gave up your own lives. Pretty alarming how unsophisticated so many presumably well-educated people's expectations are of marriage.